Thursday, January 28, 2010

Ok so today has not been a good day eating wise at ALLLL!!!!! I am just going to deem today a big fail and start again tomorrow. Which really is no big deal because even if tomorrow was day one then I would be losing like 31 pounds by the time my second eight week class starts and 37 pounds by spring break. So I am basically not beating myself up about it. Today I have just too much on my plate to care about what I put in my mouth. Doing this kind of intense dieting and working out is like a full time job, so if all the other stuff gets too big then everything goes haywire. This should not happen again for this semester, it was just a lot of BIG papers due this week. I just really quickly wanted to talk about friendship right now. I have recently reunited with an old friend who I used to be really close too. Things got kind of crazy when we started getting involved in a boyfriend/girlfriend type things relationship and then when I went to college it all went down hill. I missed him like crazy last semester and then this semester he randomly texted me. I forgot I much I cared about him. I of course still have feelings for him, but who wouldnt? It's not the kind of feelings I would ever act on. But anyway, he is in this complicated relationship with this girl that is bad news, but he doesn't know that yet. I think he would be better off with me, but I don't think he thinks so, so...we will just remain friends. ANYWAY my point is he taught me something super valuable yesterday, we were talking about our issues and stuff and how he wants me to lean on him and I want him to lean on me and whatever and he got all "listen missy, you are gonna rely on me and trust me" blah blah which is so funny because he is never controlling, even if he is joking. WHICH is even more funny considering he is an AMAZING hockey player. So we started talking about how he is so passive and not aggressive and I ask him how that relates to like the most violent sport ever and he said that he was one of the softest kids on the ice, and it just goes to show that you can be who you really are and excel at anything. Seriously every day talking with that kid teaches me something. For me he is a mystery and an inspiration. More then anything right now I just want to learn more and more from him and intern become as close if not closer as we were. I miss him so much it hurts. : ( hopefully spring break I will make him breakfast like I used to and we will be back to being the way we used to be. I realize thats got nothing to do with weight, but I just wanted to say that.

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