Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Alright dudets. I am ready to do this. I've got my Americano w/ four shots of espresso and I am ready to start my life of losing this weight. I have four because I did not get to sleep until like...oh 2 am last night. I seriously did homework for like 8 hours, if not more, straight. My eyes feel like they are going to just drop out of my head and onto the floor. They are so dry from just reading a computer screen or a piece of paper for so long. Ugh. But the only thing keeping me going is the hope that today is going to be a good day and the excitement to start losing this weight. I LOVE this control. I love love love love love love love it. Is that weird? Probably, but who cares right? I just want to also thank the girls who commented on my last post. First of all you guys gave great advice, but also because it makes me feel like I am not alone. I feel like I am a whale in the sea of little skinny tiny dolphins or some other kind of cool under water creature. You know? It's nice to know there are others like me. More then anything I need support. Most of my life I have always just kind of push a side my feelings for everyone else and have been the back bone for everybody. Everyone leans on me and I love being there for them, but sometimes it's like, who do I get to lean on? And the answer is no one. I have no shoulder to cry on and no one to turn to. I am not even being dramatic. I put on this front that I am strong and happy and my life is wonderful so no one thinks to ask me if I am ok. The few times I have broken down and really needed people they like can't handle it because they don't want to take me out of the "totally fine box" and put me in the "not so fine box". Does that make sense? Anyway, it made my day that people actually read and commented. I can't thank you enough. My first class of the day was cancelled which should be a good thing, but I walked all the way down here! haha whatever at least now I have some strong caffeine. That pretty much makes everything better. Except now I have to wait a long time for my next class : /. But I am going to try and get as much homework done as I possibly can and free up my evening for my 5 hour work out session : ). Positivity! It's my secret weapon! ; )

1 comment:

  1. I agree, it's nice to not feel alone! Thanks for following me =) I am jealous of your time and will power to work out at all, let alone 5 hours! Keep up the good work!